By Wendy Wright, LMFT | Financial Therapist & Founder of the Wendy Wright Financial Therapy Approach™
The spreadsheet was never the problem. The story you learned about money — long before you earned your first dollar — that’s what we’re here for.
This is Part Four of my four-part Wealth Transfer Dynamics series. The client stories featured throughout this series are fictional vignettes created to illustrate common emotional experiences surrounding wealth transfer. All names and events are fictional.
What story do you want your money to tell?
It’s a question I love asking clients, especially when they’re navigating a major financial transition like receiving an inheritance, selling a business, or preparing to transfer wealth to the next generation.
Because when your financial circumstances change, your relationship with money doesn’t automatically change along with them.
You may suddenly have access to more resources than you’ve ever had before and still feel anxious, guilty, overwhelmed, or unsure what to do next.
Money is never just about money.
Throughout this four-part series, we’ve explored the emotional and relational side of wealth transfer through the experiences of three fictional clients: Sarina, Maria, and Devon.
If you’re joining us for the first time, you can catch up here:
- Part One: Understanding the Great Wealth Transfer
- Part Two: Common Pain Points in Wealth Transfer
- Part Three: How My Approach to Financial Therapy Helps with Wealth Transfer Dynamics
In this final installment, we’re bringing those experiences together through one of my favorite tools: financial therapy journaling.
I’ll share three journal prompts you can try yourself, along with a closer look at how Sarina, Maria, and Devon are learning to understand their Money Stories and make room for a new relationship with their resources.
Why Wealth Transfer Is About More Than Financial Planning
Before we open our fictional clients’ journals, I want to revisit an important conversation about wealth transfer.
At the FPA NexGen Gathering last year, I had the opportunity to explore the emotional side of wealth transfer with financial planning professionals.
One of the recurring themes was how often families enter major financial transitions without having meaningful conversations about what the transfer will mean for everyone involved.
The financial details may be carefully planned, while the people receiving or giving those resources are still trying to understand their feelings, expectations, and responsibilities.
Wendy: In your experience, how often is the wealth transfer process not talked about?
Stephanie: Nearly all the time! It’s not talked about—to the point that maybe the children, that next generation, don’t know anything’s coming. Or they think more is coming. Or they don’t really have an idea of what the numbers might mean to them.
Wendy: Anything you’d add, Janice, as far as your experience?
Janice: It’s not talked about unless the person you’re working with makes a point to have the conversation and get perspective on that. So I would say the majority of people we meet with have not addressed that.
Wendy: What happens, in your experience, when it’s not talked about?
Stephanie: The thing that comes to mind—maybe because it has struck me the most—is that the inheritors feel a great sense of responsibility and obligation: “I’m not worthy of this money.”
There’s a lot of emotional baggage that comes with it. As opposed to, I might imagine, if Great Aunt Myrtle told you that she was thrilled to give you this money to help you with your life goals or to help you buy that house you wanted. The emotional burden of it would be a lot less.
Wendy: And that’s pretty common, that the money’s not talked about?
Cindy: Maybe 95% of people do not speak to their parents about their financial situation. They don’t speak to their parents about where they want to receive care.
Wendy: How often is wealth transfer not talked about?
Liz: Eighty percent of the time—probably more. Almost never. Things would be a lot better on both ends if we changed that.
Wendy: In your experience, what happens when it’s not talked about?
Liz: There’s kind of the before and after.
Beforehand, children or inheritors may struggle a lot more than they need to because they don’t know that this money is coming, or they don’t feel that they can count on it. Perhaps they’re living very frugally, working so hard to save money, when maybe that wasn’t necessary.
On the other hand, it can be really difficult when people receive money that they didn’t know was coming because they don’t know what they’re supposed to do with it. They’ve already planned their life not counting on this.
It can be very overwhelming to have no idea that money is coming. Even if it’s not a large amount, anything that is a surprise is overwhelming.
Wendy: Having a financial planner or financial therapist kind of person to provide that non-judging space can be really helpful.
Liz: I would think a financial therapist isn’t going to be trying to sell you anything. They’re just there truly to help you.
Wendy: Just to listen.
A financial plan can help you understand what to do with your resources.
My approach to financial therapy helps you explore why certain decisions, conversations, or financial changes may feel so complicated.
And sometimes, the most helpful place to begin is with a journal and a question.
How Can Financial Therapy Journaling Help with Wealth Transfer?
Financial therapy journaling creates space to slow down and notice the thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and patterns that come up around money.
This can be especially helpful during a wealth transfer because your financial circumstances may change much faster than your sense of identity, security, or responsibility.
Maybe you feel guilty about receiving money you didn’t earn.
Maybe you worry that having more resources will change your relationships.
Maybe you feel responsible for solving everyone else’s financial problems.
Or perhaps you’re afraid to make any decisions at all.
In my Wendy Wright Financial Therapy Approach™, we begin with the first of my 10 Principles of Financial Therapy©:
Approach money with Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment.
Your journal is a place to practice that principle.
You don’t have to write the right answer. You don’t have to create a perfect financial plan. You can simply begin noticing what’s happening within you.
Let’s see how this practice is helping Sarina, Maria, and Devon.
Sarina’s Journal: Breathe Before Making Financial Decisions
When we first met Sarina in Part One, she was adjusting to an unexpected wealth transfer.
Although her financial circumstances had changed, her thoughts and emotions hadn’t caught up.
She was accustomed to living paycheck to paycheck and avoiding conversations about money. Suddenly, she had more resources than she ever imagined having.
She felt overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all.
After a few sessions together, I invited Sarina to begin with a deceptively simple exercise:
Breathe.
Here’s a glimpse into her fictional financial therapy journal.
Sarina’s journal entry
When Wendy asked me to spend time breathing instead of making a list of financial decisions, I was frustrated.
I wanted to know what I should do with the money.
But as I slowed down, I started noticing how much anxiety I was carrying.
I realized that I’d spent most of my life believing money was something to worry about, avoid, or struggle to keep.
I also noticed something surprising. Part of me believed people with more than enough money must be greedy or dishonest.
Now I’m someone with more than enough.
How can I feel comfortable receiving these resources when I’ve spent so much of my life believing that having them makes someone bad?
I don’t have an answer yet. But for the first time, I’m willing to explore the question.
Journal Prompt #1: Breathe and Notice Your Money Story
Before you begin writing, find a comfortable place to sit.
Take five slow, intentional breaths. If comfortable, try breathing in for a count of four and out for a count of four.
Allow yourself to notice any thoughts or feelings that arise when you think about money.
Then, write about these questions:
- What feelings come up when I think about receiving, having, or managing money?
- What did I learn growing up about people who have more money than I do?
- Which of those beliefs might still be influencing my decisions today?
- What would it feel like to approach my current financial circumstances with curiosity instead of judgment?
You might discover that some of your money beliefs have been with you for decades.
Remember, a belief may or may not be a truth.
Understanding where it came from can help you decide whether it’s one you want to carry forward.
Maria’s Journal: What Story Do I Want My Money to Tell?
In Part Two, we explored Maria’s complicated experience with family wealth.
Her inheritance came with emotional baggage, family expectations, and years of messaging about what money meant and who deserved it.
For Maria, accepting the resources meant confronting an uncomfortable question:
Could she allow herself to create a Money Story of her own?
Maria’s journal entry
Wendy asked me a question this week that I can’t stop thinking about.
What story do I want my money to tell?
I’ve spent so much time thinking about what my family would want me to do with these resources that I haven’t really considered what I want.
I’ve been treating the inheritance as though it still belongs to someone else.
But these resources are mine now.
When I think about the future, I want to feel secure. I want to travel with my family, create memories, and have something meaningful to pass on to my children.
I don’t know exactly how to make those things happen.
For now, though, I’m beginning to understand that I can have my own vision.
Journal Prompt #2: What Story Do I Want My Money to Tell?
This is one of my favorite questions to ask during financial therapy sessions.
Your Money Story is shaped by your experiences, beliefs, emotions, relationships, and the messages you’ve absorbed throughout your life.
But your past doesn’t have to determine every chapter of your future.
Try journaling about the following:
- What story has money told in my family up to this point?
- What parts of that story do I want to carry forward?
- What parts am I ready to change?
- What do I want my resources to make possible in my life?
- What story do I want my money to tell the next generation?
Maybe you want your money to represent security.
Maybe you want it to create experiences with people you love.
Maybe you want to support your children, contribute to causes that matter to you, or create more freedom in your everyday life.
There isn’t one correct answer.
And you don’t need to know every step of the financial plan before you begin exploring your vision.
You can start by getting curious about what matters most to you.
Devon’s Journal: Whose Money Is It?
When we met Devon in Part Three, they had recently received a significant payout from selling their business.
The sudden change brought up questions about identity, worthiness, and responsibility.
Devon had also noticed an urge to give away the money almost as quickly as it arrived.
That led us to another powerful journal prompt:
Whose money is it?
Devon’s journal entry
Today, Wendy asked me to write about the money I’ve received and answer one question: Whose money is it?
My first thought was about all the people in my family who could use financial help.
My sister has always come to me when she’s struggling. I’ve helped her before, and now I feel like I should be doing even more.
But as I kept writing, I realized something.
I’ve been thinking about this money as though it’s mine to give away, rather than mine to own.
Maybe giving it away would mean I wouldn’t have to figure out what to do with it.
I think part of me wants to get rid of the responsibility.
I’m beginning to realize that I can care about my family and still have boundaries around my resources.
That’s something I want to keep exploring.
Journal Prompt #3: Whose Money Is It?
Receiving wealth can bring up complicated feelings about ownership, obligation, and family expectations.
You may feel pressure to give, share, preserve, or spend money in ways that don’t reflect your own values.
Try exploring these questions:
- When I think about my resources, do I truly feel that they belong to me?
- Whose expectations influence the way I make financial decisions?
- Do I ever feel responsible for solving someone else’s financial problems?
- What feelings come up when I consider saying no to a financial request?
- What would healthy financial boundaries look like in my relationships?
This exercise isn’t about deciding whether you should or shouldn’t help someone financially.
It’s about understanding the emotions and beliefs influencing your decisions.
You can be generous and have boundaries.
You can love your family and make your own choices.
And you can take time to understand what owning your resources means to you.
Three Financial Therapy Journal Prompts to Help You Navigate Wealth Transfer
Let’s bring these three exercises together.
Whether you’re preparing to receive an inheritance, managing newly acquired wealth, or thinking about passing resources to the next generation, these questions can help you begin exploring your relationship with money.
| Journal prompt | What it helps you explore |
|---|---|
| Breathe. | Your emotional and physical reactions to financial change, along with the beliefs influencing those reactions |
| What story do I want my money to tell? | Your values, goals, family Money Story, and vision for your resources |
| Whose money is it? | Ownership, responsibility, expectations, and financial boundaries |
You don’t have to work through all three in one sitting.
Choose the question that feels most relevant to you today.
Write whatever comes to mind, without worrying about whether it’s organized, logical, or even something you agree with.
Sometimes the most important discovery comes from noticing a thought you didn’t realize you were carrying.
What Happens After You Understand Your Money Story?
Journaling is a beginning.
As you become more aware of your Money Story, you may start recognizing patterns that have influenced your financial decisions for years.
Perhaps you’ve been avoiding money because it feels overwhelming.
Perhaps you’ve been making decisions based on guilt or someone else’s expectations.
Or perhaps you’ve been waiting to feel completely confident before taking any action.
Understanding these patterns can help you begin asking different questions.
What support would be helpful?
What conversations do I want to have with my family?
What information do I need from my financial planner?
What decisions can wait while I adjust to this change?
My approach to financial therapy can complement the work you’re doing with your financial planner, attorney, or other members of your Financial A-Team.
Financial planning helps address the practical decisions involved in managing and transferring resources.
My work helps you explore the emotional and relational patterns that may influence those decisions.
You deserve space for both.
The Final Chapter of Our Wealth Transfer Dynamics Series
Over these four articles, we’ve explored how we’ve explored how receiving or transferring wealth can affect much more than your bank balance.
We’ve looked at the emotional impact of sudden financial change, the challenges of family communication, and the ways our Money Stories can influence our relationships and decisions.
Through Sarina, Maria, and Devon, we’ve seen how the same financial transition can bring up very different experiences.
Anxiety.
Grief.
Guilt.
Responsibility.
Hope.
And the possibility of creating a new relationship with money.
As we close this series, I want to leave you with one question:
What story do you want your money to tell?
You don’t have to have it all figured out right away.
You can begin with a breath, a journal, and a little Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment.
And if you’d like support along the way, I’m here.
Continue Exploring Your Money Story
If these journal prompts resonated with you, I invite you to explore The Financial Therapy Journal and other resources in my learning library.
You can also begin with the free Get the Life You Want with the Money You Have: A New Way to Track Your Money resource, which introduces my Track Your Money, Track Your Story exercise.
These resources can help you continue exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around money at your own pace.
And if you’re ready for more personalized support, I invite you to schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Call to explore whether working together feels like a good fit.
Ready to Explore Your Own Money Story?
What story do you want your money to tell?
If Sarina, Maria, and Devon’s journal entries resonated with you, I invite you to explore your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about money.
I created The Financial Therapy Journal as a starting point for this process.
Through guided journal prompts and exercises, you’ll explore your Money Story, practice my foundational Breathe–Intend–Move approach, examine your money scripts, and begin building greater awareness of your financial behaviors.
Whether you’re navigating a wealth transfer or simply looking to better understand your relationship with money, this journal gives you a place to begin with Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment.
Frequently Asked Questions About Financial Therapy Journaling and Wealth Transfer
My approach to financial therapy explores the emotional, psychological, and relational side of money. It helps you understand how your experiences, beliefs, emotions, and relationships influence the way you think, feel, and behave with money.
Rather than focusing only on what you “should” do financially, financial therapy helps you understand the patterns underneath your financial decisions so you can create a healthier, more sustainable relationship with money.
Financial planning generally focuses on what to do with your money: financial strategies, goals, investments, and planning.
Financial therapy explores why you think, feel, and behave the way you do around money. It looks at the beliefs, emotions, experiences, and patterns that may be influencing your financial decisions.
The two can complement each other. Financial therapy can help address the emotional and behavioral side of money alongside the practical work of financial planning.
Your Money Story is the collection of beliefs, emotions, experiences, and patterns you’ve developed around money.
It can be shaped by how money was handled or talked about growing up, experiences of stability or uncertainty, relationships, cultural messages, and what you learned about things like success, security, worth, and responsibility.
Understanding your Money Story can help you recognize why certain financial situations affect you the way they do and give you more choice in how you respond moving forward.
Journaling can help you slow down and recognize the thoughts, emotions, and expectations that come up when your financial circumstances change.
Questions like “What story do I want my money to tell?” and “Whose money is it?” can help you explore your values, family Money Story, and feelings about financial responsibility.
These reflections may also help you identify conversations you’d like to have with family members or your Financial A-Team.
The Wendy Wright Financial Therapy Approach™ brings together emotional insight, money behavior awareness, practical money conversations, and Wendy’s therapeutic experience.
At the heart of the approach is the first of Wendy’s 10 Principles of Financial Therapy©:
Approach money with Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment.
Instead of beginning with criticism or focusing on what you “should” have done differently, the work begins by getting curious about the experiences, emotions, and patterns underneath your relationship with money.
No. You don’t need to be in a financial crisis to benefit from financial therapy.
You may be doing well financially and still experience anxiety, avoidance, shame, conflict, or a persistent feeling that you “should” be better with money.
Financial therapy can also be helpful if you simply want to understand your patterns and build a healthier relationship with money before those patterns become bigger problems.
My Discovery Call is a free 20-minute video conversation where we can talk about what’s bringing you to financial therapy and explore whether working together feels like a good fit.
It isn’t a financial planning session, investment advice, or a high-pressure sales call.
It’s an opportunity to ask questions, talk about what has been feeling challenging, and decide whether my approach feels supportive for you.
